


Little Bird

by Manuelita_la_Tortuga



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Bisexual Character, Character Study, Comfort, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lesbian Sex, Nightmares, Non-Explicit Sex, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Randomness, Sex, Sleep Paralysis, bisexual sole survivor, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-03 08:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13337415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manuelita_la_Tortuga/pseuds/Manuelita_la_Tortuga
Summary: One shots of Cait's dealings with the Sole Survivor. Unrelated to the Wasteland series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know. Just a thought I had.
> 
> Cait meets the Sole Survivor and struggles to understand her.

Cait muttered under her breath and shifted the pack on her shoulders, trying to find a position for it that didn't make her shoulders scream in agony. She glanced again at the back of the woman she was following. Kathryn had appeared at the Combat Zone just before the beginning of Cait's last match. She had seen the flash of light in the distance as the lobby door opened, seen the slight figure silhouetted in it for a moment, then lost sight of her when the door closed. 

At that point, she had had to turn her attention to her latest opponent anyway, and it wasn't until the luckless raider was bleeding out on the ring floor in front of her, after what had proved to be a much tougher fight than she'd expected, that she realized that the usual cacophony that accompanied her fights had a different tone this time. She looked up in surprise when Tommy unlocked the cage door, hurried through it, and closed it behind himself, crossing to her and pulling her down to the ground on one side. 

Cait craned her neck to see what the hell was going on, and that's when she finally got her first good glimpse of her. Armed with a sword, of all things, in her right hand, and a pistol in her left, she worked her way steadily through the Combat Zone's spectators, slipping behind cover here, suddenly appearing there, carving her way through the befuddled raiders, and leaving death in her wake. God, she was beauty in motion, and Cait was turned on just watching her.

When silence finally fell, and the woman approached the cage, Cait watched her almost hungrily, as she and Tommy spoke. She was small, shorter than Cait, and compact. Her slight build belied the strength and skill Cait had seen in action. She was easy on the eyes, too, pale gold hair with a strip of dark at the roots pulled back in a pony tail and showing off a slender neck, and green eyes vibrant against dusky skin.

She came back to the conversation with a snap, when she realized what Tommy was saying. The bastard wanted to get rid of her? After all she'd done for him? All the caps she'd earned him? The hell with that!

"Don't I get a say in all of this?"

Tommy snorted.

"That ain't how a contract works, Little Bird." She huffed at the despised nickname. "Besides, you really wanna stay here? No audience. No caps. No one to talk to but yours truly."

Cait rolled her eyes.

"Jesus. Point taken."

Tommy grinned.

"Atta girl." He turned to the woman. "So, she's on board. How about you?"

The woman had looked consideringly at Cait, and in a lightning fast movement, had reached out and grabbed Cait's chin, turning her head into the light and peering into her eyes. Cait was so surprised that it took her a moment to react, and jerk her head out of the woman's grasp. The woman nodded, still looking her over appraisingly. Cait shuddered. She hadn't felt this much like a piece of meat since she had bought her way out of slavery, and yet, she hadn't seen any malice in the woman's eyes during that brief moment.

"Sure, I could use someone watching my back."

Cait snorted. The woman was obviously capable of watching her own back. She could guess what she really wanted out of her. 

So, now she found herself trailing after this enigmatic woman, who seemed to have no goal in sight, other than to pick up every scrap of trash she came across. Cait slept with one eye open, waiting for her to make her move, but she never did, in fact, she barely spoke, and the constant watching and waiting was driving Cait mad.

Combined with her growing psycho need, and the accumulated pain brought on by years of abuse and fighting, and the heaviness of her pack, it was no wonder Cait was muttering to herself. She trudged along behind Kathryn, not really paying attention to where they were going, just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, and consequently bumped right into her, when she stopped unexpectedly. Cait looked up in surprise to see a small island across a narrow strip of water. The island was peppered with pre-war homes, some of which appeared to still be in decent shape. 

She glanced at Kathrym, and was shocked to see an expression of raw grief on her face, which she quickly blanked when she noticed Cait watching her. She took a deep breath and started across the small bridge.

The place appeared to be a settlement. There were a few other people living there. Kathryn dropped most of the contents of her pack with them before walking into one of the houses, with Cait trailing her sullenly. She winced as she dropped her own pack, a sharp twinge of pain shooting across her shoulders, and Kathryn looked at her sharply.

"You're in pain."

Cait tried for a nonchalant shrug.

"Nothin' I can't handle."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow.

"You're no good to me if you can't move." She gestured down the hallway. "In here."

Cait followed her warily. 

"What're you goin' to do?"

"I'm going to try to fix your back."

She led her into a bedroom and pointed to a sheet-covered mattress on the floor. 

"Take off your shirt and bra and lie down. I'll be back shortly."

She turned abruptly and left the room. Cait stared after her. Fix her back, indeed. She'd known it was coming to this, but the woman's clinical attitude was disconcerting. Cait shrugged and started unlacing her corset. If she was going to have to do this, she was going to try to enjoy it. At least Kathryn didn't stink, like most of the raiders she'd had to deal with in the last few years, and she was attractive. Cait had definitely been with worse. 

She stripped off, not only her corset, but also her pants and underwear, and arranged herself, in what she hoped was a provocative pose on the mattress. 

When Kathryn re-entered the room a few minutes later, Cait had the satisfaction of seeing that blank demeanor break for just a moment, as she blinked in surprise at the view before her, then her expression closed up again.

"Turn onto your stomach, please."

Cait frowned. She did not like having her back to people during sex. She turned over slowly, watching Kathryn over her shoulder. The woman picked up a folded blanket from the foot of the mattress, opened it up and draped it across Cait, covering her from the waist down. What? She frowned, still watching Kathryn over her shoulder as she picked up the bottle she had been holding when she entered, opened it, poured a bit of the contents into one hand and rubbed her hands together. 

She turned to kneel next to Cait and saw her still leaning up on one elbow, watching her. 

"Lie flat, please." Cait blinked. Please again. She wasn't used to that. "You can rest your head on your arms, or put them at your side. Whatever's more comfortable."

Cait slowly lowered herself to the mattress, pillowing her head on her arms, head angled to the side so she could still watch Kathryn out of the corner of her eye. She still flinched when Kathryn lowered her hands to her back and gently rubbed the substance, oil she thought, from her hands to Cait's skin.

"You need to relax," came the terse command. "This won't do any good if you've got your muscles all bunched up and tense."

"What're you goin' to do?" Cait asked again, hating how scared her voice sounded all of a sudden.

"I told you, I'm going to try to fix your back." She prodded gently at one of Cait's shoulders. "Now relax." Cait did her best to release the tension in her shoulders, and saw the woman nod in satisfaction. "Good."

What followed was the most baffling and amazing twenty minutes of Cait's life, as Kathryn kneaded her way across Cait's back and shoulders, occasionally making her hiss or grunt with pain, but ultimately leaving her feeling boneless and relaxed, the pain in her back reduced to a much more manageable throb.

When she finished, Kathryn pulled the blanket up over Cait's shoulders.

"Keep warm. And unless that's a position you usually sleep in, you'll want to turn over. Don't ruin my hard work by getting a crick in your neck."

With that, she stood and left the room, leaving Cait looking after her bemusedly. She saw her enter another room across the hallway, heard the rustle of clothing, and then the lights went out. Cait sat up, wrapping the blanket around her naked form, and trying to wrap her thoughts around what had just happened, and not happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Cait shuffled backwards into the shadows. She could see the shadow of the monster looming closer. Her breathing grew ragged, and she clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound.

"Caity."

The voice, sing-song and mocking, set her to trembling where she crouched. 

"I know ye're there."

Cait could feel her heart thudding against her chest. 

"If ye come out now, ye won't be in trouble."

God, god, what had she done this time?

"Come on out, now, girl."

The voice was getting angry now, and Cait bit down on her fist as the shadow came closer to her hiding place.

"CAIT! OUT! NOW!"

She ran. Her legs weren't working properly. She was running as fast as she could, but she might as well have been standing still. She glanced over her shoulder, and saw the monster, twelve feet tall, red faced, a grimace of rage contorting its face. It reached out a hand to grab her…

And she woke up.

After a moment of relief, she felt a stab of panic. She couldn't move! Oh god, he was there. He was still there! Coming for her. Reaching for her. And she couldn't move. Couldn't escape.

With a suddenness that left her reeling, the vision vanished, and she found she could move again. She scrambled up, but her knees gave out and she collapsed onto her bedroll. Her heart was pounding, and she couldn't catch her breath. She shivered violently. She couldn't control this, couldn't marshal her thoughts to break out of this. She was going to lose herself this time.

Dimly, far away, she noticed a sudden warmth across her shoulders, and then a faint voice. She couldn't hear words, wasn't sure whose voice it was, but it was calm and steady, and somehow safe, and she grabbed on to it as to a rope tied to a mooring post. 

Slowly, painfully slowly, she drew herself towards the voice, let it soothe her, calm her, draw her back to herself. 

After long, agonizing minutes, she realized the voice was Kathryn's, who was sitting cross-legged next to her, and the warmth, a blanket that had been draped over her shoulders.

She took a couple of shaky breaths, and started listening to what the other woman was saying.

"And when I was twelve, we got a husky, Nikita, named after a character in a movie. Most talkative dog I ever met. Yodeling, we called it. That dog would complain about everything. Wanted to go on a walk, yodel. Didn't want to go on a walk, yodel. Wasn't getting enough pets, yodel. Wanted to get up on the…"

Cait turned to her slowly.

"What the hell are ye talkin' about?"

Kathryn turned to look at her. There was a mixture of concern and relief in her eyes.

"Welcome back."

Cait blinked and pulled the blanket around herself.

"What did ye just do?"

Kathryn pulled her knees up, rested an elbow on them, and leaned her head against her hand, watching her.

"My husband used to get panic attacks when he came back from the war. He said talking helped. Gave him something to focus on to help him break out of it. He said it didn't really matter what I talked about, just so long as he could hear my voice." She hesitated. "I didn't know if it would work with you. You don't know me as well as Nate did, but I figured it was worth a try."

"Thanks," Cait said gruffly.

Kathryn nodded and pushed herself to her feet. 

"I'll… let you get back to sleep."

Cait hesitated for a moment.

"Would… would ye mind stayin' close?" She flushed and looked away, embarrassed, but Kathryn nodded. 

"I'll get my bedroll."

She laid her bedroll next to Cait's, close enough that Cait could have touched her. Cait lay back down on her side, facing the other woman.

"Ye're married?"

Kathryn paused, leaning on one elbow, the other hand holding up the blanket as she slipped her legs under it. She swallowed before answering.

"Widowed."

Cait opened her mouth to ask more questions, but Kathryn had already laid down with her back to Cait, clearly putting an end to the conversation. Cait lay awake for a good long while, staring at the other woman's back, and realizing how little she still knew about her, even after weeks of traveling together.


	3. Chapter 3

"Why d'ye spend so much time helpin' all those farmers all over the place?"

Cait wasn't so much curious about the answer, as trying to distract herself as Kathryn kneaded away at a particularly sore knot on her left shoulder. The other woman's answer was matter of fact.

"If I help Preston with his Minutemen stuff, he and Sturges will help me with my… project. Everybody wants something these days." This last was muttered under her breath and Cait barely heard it. She frowned. The way Kathryn said it sounded like she was surprised, but she might as well have said you shouldn't stay out in the rain if you didn't want to get rad poisoning. Of course everyone wanted something. That was just the way the world worked.

"Ye mean there's an actual rhyme and reason behind all the junk ye're havin' me haul around?"

She heard a huff of breath, and glanced over her shoulder to see a sardonic smile on Kathryn's face.

"Yes." Kathryn pushed at her shoulder, trying to get her to lie down again. Cait complied, but continued watching her out of the corner of her eye.

"Well? What is it?"

"I need to get into the Institute."

The answer was given so calmly, that it took Cait's brain a moment to process what she'd heard.

"Ye what? Why the hell would ye want to go there?"

Kathryn's hands slowed on her back, and for a moment, Cait thought she wasn't going to answer.

"They kidnapped my son, and killed my husband when he tried to stop them." She started kneading again, still talking, and it was as though a floodgate had opened. "Everyone I ever knew is dead. All I have left is my baby boy. I'm going in there, and I'm going to get him back, and then I'm going to make them pay for what they took from me."

This was the longest speech she had ever heard from Kathryn, and the barely restrained fury in her quiet voice and eyes made Cait shiver, and swallow the new questions her words brought up. Kathryn continued working on her back in silence, and Cait let her eyes droop closed, thinking how strange it was to trust someone enough to relax this much in her presence. It was a new and unsettling sensation, which she only succumbed to when Kathryn's fingers were turning her into putty.

After several minutes, she noticed that Kathryn's hands, which had been so strong and confident until now, had turned hesitant, barely ghosting over her skin. She shivered and looked over her shoulder. There was curiosity in the other woman's eyes, and something else. Something Cait couldn't quite place.

"Did… you get all these at the Combat Zone?"

Cait stiffened, and Kathryn snatched her hand back. 

"Are we done?"

Without waiting for an answer, Cait sat up on the other side of the bed with her back to Kathryn, and reached for her shirt. She felt movement, and glanced over her shoulder to see Kathryn rising to her feet, her face once more an implacable mask. And Cait knew now that it _was_ a mask. She had seen it drop more and more often of late. 

She bit her lip. Kathryn had opened up to her, answered her questions. And now, when Kathryn tried to reach out to her, she had pushed her away and the doors that had started to open had crashed closed again. She gulped and looked down at her lap.

"Me parents were a waste of space," she started, her voice barely more than a whisper. She didn't look back, but she heard Kathryn's footsteps slow and stop. "They never wanted me. Everythin' I did was wrong, and they showed me. Constantly. Beat me, yelled at me. Ye'd've thought they'd be happy to see the back of me, but whenever I tried to run away, they always found me and dragged me back. The last time I tried, they broke me leg." She felt the mattress dip, as Kathryn sat down again, but the other woman didn't try to touch her, for which she was grateful. "For a while, I thought that must mean they did love me, deep down. Why keep me around, otherwise?" She laughed bitterly. "I learned better on me eighteenth birthday, when they slapped a shock collar around me neck and sold me to slavers"

"I'm… I'm so sorry, Cait." Kathryn's voice was filled with horror. 

Cait shrugged.

"There's more." She took a deep breath, suddenly realized she was still clutching her shirt in her hands, and quickly pulled it over her head. "I was with the slavers for five years." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Rather not talk about that time," she continued quickly. "I managed to save up enough caps to buy meself free by stealing from the men while they slept. Easy enough to do, if ye don't get greedy."

"I can't imagine having to go through that."

Cait shifted slightly on the bed. Now that she'd started the story, she wished Kathryn would just let her finish it. All this sympathy was making her uncomfortable, because she was pretty sure that when Kathryn heard the end of the story, the sympathy would vanish, and Cait would find herself out on her own again.

"I'm not done. When I finally got meself out of there, there was only one thing on me mind. Revenge. I made me way back to me parents' house… and emptied me gun into them." She hesitated, and this time, Kathryn remained silent. Cait's heart sank, but she'd come this far, she might as well finish. "When I close me eyes, I still see their faces twisted in fear." She sighed and shook her head. "I don't drink and shoot meself up with all that junk just for the fun of it. I do it to forget what I've done."

She felt a hand on her shoulder and flinched. Kathryn pulled her hand back, but didn't stand up.

"I don't know that I'd have done any different in your shoes."

Cait turned to look at her in amazement. There was no hatred or disgust in her eyes, just sympathy and… something soft… something Cait couldn't name.

"You've managed to survive under incredible odds and I'm proud of you for that."

Cait's breath hitched and she swallowed down an unexpected lump in her throat.

"Ye're…? I didn't expect ye to say that."

Kathryn reached across the bed and put her arms around Cait, pulling her into a hug. Cait panicked, unsure what to do with her hands, and by the time she hesitantly touched them to Kathryn's back, the other woman was pulling away, giving her a small smile and standing.

"Good night, Cait."

\+ + +

Kathryn was gone for a week, and Cait slouched around Sanctuary, trying to stay away from the settlers. She didn't know how to interact with them, and they seemed uneasy in her presence. She spent the first day pacing the perimeter of the small island, and by the end of the day, she was ready to pull her hair out with boredom and anxiety.

The next day, she emptied out the crates into which Kathryn dumped all the weapons and armor looted from dead raiders, that she and Cait dragged back to the settlement and sat down to repair and improve the whole stack, turning them from barely usable junk, into tools that could actually repel an attack. 

She was standing at a workbench reassembling one of the last rifles in the pile, when she heard murmurs from the settlers behind her, and turned to see Kathryn walking down the ruined street towards them. 

Her face was that blank mask again, and she pulled Preston and Sturges into one of the unused houses with barely a glance at Cait or any of the others. Cait abandoned the pipe rifle on the workbench and returned to pacing. She couldn't help notice that Kathryn had returned alone.

It was past midnight when the three emerged from the ruined house, all three looking drained and exhausted. Cait fell into step behind Kathryn, following her into their house, but hesitating to ask any questions.

Kathryn walked silently to her room, and lay down on her bed fully clothed, turning on her side to face the wall. Cait watched her for a few moments, then reluctantly walked to her own room and prepared for bed.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep, when something brought her fully awake, and already reaching for the knife she kept under her pillow, one hand on the hilt, the other pulling at the sheath. 

"Are you awake, Cait?"

She let out a breath, pushed the knife back into its sheath and shoved it back under her pillow, collapsing onto her back. She managed to grunt out an affirmative, and heard Kathryn's bare feet padding towards her. Cait stiffened as Kathryn lifted Cait's arm and slid onto the bed next to her, with her head on Cait's shoulder. But that was all she did and she slowly relaxed, noticing, incongruously, that Kathryn had changed into her sleeping shirt at some point, and her very bare legs were pressed against Cait's and making her think very inappropriate thoughts. 

Then again, the woman had come to her bed in the middle of the night, so maybe they weren't all that inappropriate. Except… Cait felt a warm dampness on her shirt, and heard a quiet sniffle, and realized the other woman was crying. She swallowed hard, her eyes darting from side to side in the darkened room. What was she supposed to do? Finally, hesitantly, she put trembling arms around Kathryn's shoulders and patted her back awkwardly.

After what felt like hours, Kathryn shifted slightly, and Cait snatched her hands back, as though she'd been caught picking someone's pocket. Kathryn pushed herself up on one elbow and looked at her. In the dimness, Cait could just make out the outline of her face.

"Thank you." Her voice was low and husky with tears. She was silent for a moment before continuing. "Can I stay here tonight?"

Cait jerked her head in assent, then realized she probably couldn't see that.

"Yeah."

Kathryn leaned towards her and kissed her cheek, then curled up against her again with her head on Cait's shoulder. Cait touched a hand to the spot on her cheek where she could still feel the pressure of Kathryn's lips before putting her arms around the other woman again and leaning her cheek against the top of her head.


	4. Chapter 4

Cait lay panting as the device retracted and the needles pulled out of her neck. She felt the restraints around her arms, legs and torso loosen, but couldn't bring herself to move yet. A gentle touch on the back of her hand brought her eyes wide open to see Kathryn's worried face leaning over her.

"Did it work?" She reached up and brushed a strand of hair off Cait's face, then touched the back of her hand against Cait's forehead and cheek, before laughing sardonically and shaking her head. "As if I even knew what I was checking for." She leaned a little closer, looking into Cait's eyes, her hand still resting against the side of Cait's face, thumb brushing back and forth softly. "You alright?"

Cait struggled to answer, not because she was unwell – though exhausted, she didn't remember the last time she'd felt this well – but because every touch on her skin felt like fire, and she was having trouble concentrating on anything else. Had Kathryn's hands always been this warm? This soft? She blinked a few times and cleared her throat, pushing herself to a seat.

"I'm… yeah, it worked." She looked around wonderingly. "It's like I'd been walkin' through fog. Everythin's brighter and clearer." She put a hand to her head. "Doesn't hurt like it did either."

She pushed herself to her feet and found herself enveloped in Kathryn's arms, and again, lost the ability to focus on anything but the hard muscle and soft curves pressed against her.

"I've been so worried."

Cait pulled away, flustered, and grasped for something to say. Her stomach came to the rescue with a loud growl. Kathryn looked amused.

"Hungry?"

Cait realized she was. She'd been eating before, but couldn't remember the last time she'd felt properly hungry.

"Famished."

"Good. You've been losing weight lately. Let's get you something to eat."

Kathryn put a hand on her elbow and led her out of the room and back through the vault. Cait blinked and glanced down. Had Kathryn always touched her this much outside of the massages? Was it being clean that made each touch feel almost like a shock? Or was this all new? She shook her head, frustrated. She found it difficult to remember the smaller details of the last few weeks. She must have been further gone than she'd realized.

When Kathryn stopped, Cait dropped into the nearest chair and looked around curiously. Between the sickness and the gunners trying to kill them, she hadn't really taken the time to look around the vault on the way in. They had stopped in a large kitchen. She watched with an amused smile as Kathryn opened a cabinet, gave a triumphant cry, and started pulling out can after can of beans, cram, fruit, and who knew what else.

"Looks like they were planning to stay here long term," Kathryn said as she started opening drawers and finally pulled out a can opener and a couple of spoons. "What do you want to start with?"

When they finished eating, Kathryn insisted they spend the night in the vault, and Cait, who after that meal was ready to fall asleep where she was sitting, didn't object. They found a room nearby with a couple of cots and mattresses and laid their bedrolls on them.

"How's your back?"

Cait froze and heard Kathryn approaching.

"Cait?" There was worry in her voice as she put a tentative hand on Cait's shoulder. Cait closed her eyes and took a breath. "What's wrong?"

Oh, god. If a touch on her shoulder or her elbow was turning her brain to mush, she didn't even want to think about what a massage would do.

"I just…" she breathed out slowly, choosing her words. "Everythin' feels really intense right now. It's a bit overwhelmin', actually."

Kathryn lowered her hand with a nod and a small smile. 

"I'll let you get to sleep, then. Night."

Sleep wasn't exactly what Cait had in mind anymore. Though she had years of experience in being silent when she needed to be, she'd be waiting until the other woman was asleep before taking care of herself. And hopefully, come morning, she'd be more in control of her feelings and senses.

\+ + +

Cait started getting used to the new sharpness in her senses over the next couple of days. It helped that Kathryn had stopped touching her so much. Cait occasionally saw her reach a hand out towards her, and then retract it and, perversely, wished she would go back to how she'd been treating her in the vault.

She also noticed, on the few occasions when she came into physical contact with other people—brushing a trader's fingers as she handed them a handful of caps; arm wrestling with a stranger in a bar; the subsequent claps on the back from the spectators when she won—those touches felt no different than they had before the visit to the vault. While the now rarer contact with Kathryn continued to make her feel like she'd touched a live wire.

Cait spent a lot of time thinking this over. She'd never before spent this much time with someone she liked, or someone who liked her. Friendship was new to her. Love, an unknown. Sure, she'd had any number of sexual encounters since her parents had sold her, but those had been business transactions, indifferent at best and horrifying at worst. She had no knowledge of the sorts of feelings she was experiencing now, and was having trouble deciding if she just wanted to shag the woman—which was mind-blowing in and of itself, actually _wanting_ it rather than being forced into it by circumstance or… whatever—or if it went deeper than that.

She sighed and shook her head, plodding along behind Kathryn. How did people figure these things out anyway? Lots of people must. Hell, Kathryn herself must have at some point. She'd been married. Maybe there was a class. Her parents had never allowed her to go to school. She'd never regretted it before, but now wondered what she might have missed out on. Oh, god, and there was another thought. Kathryn had been married. Was she even interested in Cait, or was she still grieving her dead husband? What happened if one of them was interested, and the other wasn't? Cait rubbed her forehead. She was giving herself a headache.

"Something bothering you?"

She looked up and was surprised to see they were passing the Red Rocket station near Sanctuary. She glanced at Kathryn, walking ahead of her and frowned slightly.

"What makes ye think that?"

Kathryn glanced over her shoulder before returning to watching the sides of the road for possible threats.

"Your face is all scrunched up." She muttered something else, but Cait couldn't hear her. She jogged a couple of steps to walk beside her.

"What'd ye say?"

The other woman glanced at her sidelong, and Cait was surprised to see her blush. She cleared her throat before answering.

"I said it was pretty freaking cute."

Cait stopped in the middle of the bridge into Sanctuary and stared at Kathryn's retreating back. After a few steps, the other woman seemed to notice she wasn't following anymore and turned around. She walked back towards her, looking worried.

"Cait?"

Cait snapped. She'd had enough of thinking. Thinking made her head hurt. It was time for action. She leaned forward and kissed her, just a quick, hard press of her lips against Kathryn's and then she pulled back, watching her warily. Kathryn looked at her in wide-eyed surprise, then smiled delightedly, cupped Cait's face with one hand and pressed close to her, her nose grazing Cait's cheek as she placed a soft kiss on the corner of Cait's mouth before kissing her fully on the lips, softly, gently, unlike anything Cait had felt before. She pulled back slightly, her thumb still caressing the side of Cait's face and smiled again.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while."

Cait looked at her in outraged disbelief.

"Why the hell didn't ye?"

She shrugged and kissed the tip of Cait's nose.

"I didn't know how you felt."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to change the rating for this chapter. Not full-on smut, but still might be considered a bit more than PG-13.

Cait leaned over the counter in the kitchen of the house in Sanctuary Hills, looking through a Grognak comic she'd found there, while waiting for Kathryn to finish dressing so they could head out for the day. She was so engrossed, that she didn't notice Kathryn approaching, until the other woman slipped her arms around her waist and pressed herself against her back. Cait's reaction was instinctive. She broke the hold and squirmed away, heart pounding. When she turned, panting, Kathryn was watching her wide-eyed, but after a moment, her expression changed to something gentler, and she approached Cait slowly, hands up in a non-threatening gesture.

"Which part of that was wrong?" she asked in a soft voice. "The hugging? Or did you not hear me? Or was it because I came on you from behind?"

Cait struggled to get her breathing under control before answering.

"Last two."

Kathryn nodded and took the last couple of steps up to her, lowering her arms to slip them around her waist, but pausing before touching her and looking up first. Cait gulped and nodded, and Kathryn leaned against her chest, tucking her head under Cait's chin and wrapping her arms around her back. Cait took a few deep breaths, and felt her heart rate returning to normal as they stood quietly in the embrace.

"OK, so don't hug you from behind, and don't surprise you. Got it." Kathryn pulled away enough to look up at Cait's face, her hands still laced together behind her back, then frowned suddenly. "What about the massages?"

Cait shrugged.

"After that first one, I've known what to expect. And I never had a massage… before, so I don't have any bad memories associated with them."

Kathryn looked relieved.

"Anything else I shouldn't do?"

Her tone was serious, but she looked at Cait with a fond smile as she waited for her answer. Cait hesitated. Sharing her fears was difficult. She closed her eyes before answering.

"Don't like havin' me throat touched."

When she opened her eyes again, Kathryn was nodding seriously.

"Back of the neck, OK?"

When Cait hesitated looking thoughtful, Kathryn raised a hand slowly, and gently slipped her fingers into the hair at the nape of Cait's neck and looked at her questioningly. Cait nodded.

"Uh… is that no touching at all on your neck, or just hands?"

Cait frowned. 

"No arms either."

Kathryn half smiled, ducked her head and looked up at her through her lashes, her cheeks darkening slightly. 

"I was thinking more along the lines of lips, actually."

Cait blinked, and could have sworn her heart stuttered. She cleared her throat.

"I… uh… I dunno." She swallowed, feeling her own blush staining her cheeks, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly. "Maybe ye should try it and find out."

Kathryn's smile widened at that and she stood on tiptoe, balancing herself with one hand on Cait's hip, and another on her shoulder. She paused before leaning in and looked seriously at Cait.

"I'll stop if you don't like it or if it makes you uncomfortable, OK?"

Cait nodded, and Kathryn leaned towards her, kissing along her jaw line, to just under her ear, then down one side of her neck, to the hollow at the base of her throat, and up the other side of her neck to the other ear. Cait stood with her arms around Kathryn's back, eyes closed. She could feel her breathing and heart rate picking up again, but this was so different than what had happened a few minutes ago, and she couldn't help the gasp that escaped her when she felt Kathryn's teeth graze her earlobe.

She felt the smaller woman pull back, but it was a few moments before she could open her eyes. When she finally did, Kathryn was grinning smugly.

"So, lips yes?"

Cait smirked.

"I dunno. Might need to do a bit more testin'."

She gave an undignified squeak which quickly became a moan when Kathryn lunged in and started nibbling around her pulse point, and then a laugh, as she found herself dragged back to what she had already started thinking of as _their_ bedroom.

Cait learned a lot about Kathryn in the next few hours. Like how her eyes lit up when she looked down at Cait's naked form, as though she'd just discovered a hidden treasure. Or the delicacy with which she held her, even as their movements became more urgent and frantic, as though Cait were made of spun glass. How she listened to Cait's reactions and adapted her own movements to give her the greatest pleasure. How, when Cait finally collapsed against her, she pressed soft kisses to Cait's neck and shoulder, holding her until she could compose herself, and then pulling her down and pillowing Cait's head on her chest.

How her pupils dilated so the green of her eyes was nearly lost, when Cait tumbled her onto her back and leaned over her. The sounds she made as Cait kissed her way down her body, and how to use them as cues for when to linger in certain areas. The strength of her legs as they wrapped around Cait's back, and the feel of her teeth against Cait's shoulder as she came undone. How her skin gleamed with the sweat of their exertions as she lay languidly under Cait, before reaching up to pull her down, wrapping her arms around Cait and nuzzling against her chest, twining their legs together, and humming contentedly when Cait wrapped her own arms tightly around her.

"I love you, Cait."

Cait pulled back and looked at her in surprise.

"Ye… ye do?"

Kathryn frowned slightly looking up at her.

"Yes. What did you think this was?"

"I… well, I knew that I had feelin's for ye, but I... I didn't know if..." Cait stammered. "I thought ye felt somethin', but…"

Kathryn silenced her by brushing her thumb against Cait's lips.

"I'm an old fashioned girl, Cait. I only hop into people's beds if I care deeply about them." She leaned up and kissed Cait tenderly, before returning to her previous position.

Cait's heart soared and then crashed.

"Why?"

Kathryn pulled back again.

"What do you mean why? Why to which part?"

Cait couldn't quite meet her eyes.

"Why would ye be in love with me? After everythin' I've been through? Everythin' I've done? Ye could have anyone. Why would ye want me?"

Kathryn shifted until she was face to face with Cait and pushed back her hair gently with one hand, watching her seriously.

"We all have a past. We all have baggage. We've all done things, or had things happen to us. There are things we're not proud of, or ashamed of. We're most of us broken to some degree. But you, Cait, through all that, you're strong and resilient, you're good-hearted and funny," she looked down at Cait's body in a way that made Cait's face burn and sent a jolt of heat between her legs. "Not to mention you're gorgeous. I could do a hell of a lot worse than to fall for you."

Cait closed her eyes, blushing.

"I've never been in love before. But I think I am now."

She was rewarded with a brilliant smile and a slow languid kiss, and shortly also learned that Kathryn could do some very impressive things with her tongue.


End file.
